Ep 5 - Falling For You (FINALE)

Who will Izzy end up with?! In this Final Chapter of our story,  t'was / tw'is / IT IS the Night Before Christmas and Izzy has the biggest decision of all. WHO has she fallen for?  

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Created (and voiced) by real life husband-and-wife Anne Gregory (Parks And Rec) & Sean Casey  (Hollywood Darlings). 

Sound Design, Editing & Mixing - Landon Kirksey 

Featuring the voice talents of:

Izzy Casey - Anne Gregory
Christmas Steve - Patrick McIntyre (The List)
Ben Douglass - Sean Casey
Susan Casey -  Jen Burton (I’m Sorry)
Margaret Casey - Julie Brister (Goliath)
Brendan Casey -  Dave Theune (I Am Not Okay With This)
Elf Lady - Renee McIntyre (Christmas Steve)
Wrong Santa - Tim Jennings (The Great North)
Various -  Landon Kirksey (TripTank) 

Christmas Steve was recorded Oct/Nov 2020, with each voice actor performing remotely. Series Producer, Landon Kirksey , coordinated performance footage taken on phones, from inside closets, and across three timezones, and blended them together seamlessly to make each scene sound as if it was recorded together. With over 163 pages of scripted material.

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Transcript

Christmas Steve - EPISODE 5 INT. CASEY HOME - LIVING ROOM MUSIC CUE: intro Christmas music NARRATOR IZZY (V.O.) This was it. The Final Chapter. ‘Twas The Night Before Christmas. Well, more like late morning, but All Through The House... I was struggling with a decision. Did I want to be with Veterinarian Ben? Or Christmas Steve? Ben was goofy and funny... and so comfortable just being himself. And I felt like I could be myself around him. But Steve. Was. A dreamboat. Just total perfection. And, get this, I had preemptively dropped him because I thought he was tied up with his very female, very comfortable in her own body, business partner, Nikki. But I was wrong - he was single. Coming home to snowy Wisconsin this year I had promised myself I would find my person, my one, this Christmas. I still had a little sliver of time, but how could I, a woman who’s known exactly what she’s wanted her entire life, decide between two very different, but equally wonderful, men? SFX: knitting needle sounds NARRATOR IZZY (V.O.) So I turned to my sister Susan. She was in the living room, nestled in somewhere amidst our family’s massive display of tiny Dickens Village cottages. And deep within a pile of fleece throws and multi-colored yarn, I found her, knitting away on the couch. I didn’t always agree with Susan, but she always tells it like it is. And in troubled times, we have to depend on family.  SUSAN Sooo... whaddya know. IZZY I can’t decide. You have to help me out. SUSAN -- Izzy - I know you as well as I know my cornsnake. IZZY Gross. (Alt: This was a mistake) SUSAN You are goal-oriented and Christmas Steve is like your perfect, vision-boarded dude. Kind, successful, popular, gorgeous. Fer cryin’ out loud, he is our town Santa! What I’m saying is he’s a delicious man-meal and you’re askin’ if we should reheat a DiGiornio’s. IZZY I know, but it’s not that easy. SUSAN Lemme tell ya something. This is just like how it was with me and Yan. IZZY Except in my case I have two guys who are real. Not one who isn’t.  Susan stops and sets down her knitting. SUSAN Have I ever told you the story of how we met? It was on a sock knitting message board. IZZY That tracks. SUSAN (scoffs) Naw. ‘That Tracks’ is a site for shoes. This was Socks Appeal dot org. IZZY Of course it was. SUSAN (ignoring) And Yan was such a big deal. A long-haired, maverick knitting expert from Scandinavia, the Mecca of wool. His patterns on heel design... so frickin’ next level.  IZZY I have never been more convinced that Yan is made up. SUSAN At first we just talked about sock stuff - kept it real casual - but then I wanted to share other parts of myself - my fear of commitment, my thing with electrical outlets. But I was scared. But then I thought about you. And how you’ve never settled your whole life. You became a doctor and overcame that learning disability- IZZY -- I stuttered for like a month when I was five-- SUSAN -- So I went for it. Turned out Yan’s even more perfect for me than I could have imagined. He ticks all my boxes. IZZY Gross. SUSAN (checking off) He’s in a metal band, his board game Kickstarter is almost funded, he loves smoked meats. And, most importantly, he loves me.  IZZY What are you trying to say? SUSAN You met your Yan, Izzy. You met your ‘perfect dude’ and now you gotta go for it. So you made a mistake and broke it off-- IZZY Don’t say it. SUSAN -- Before he could break it off in you. IZZY Nope! SUSAN (continuing) That was a mistake. But you can make up for it. You’ve made up for your deficiencies in the past. You can do it again. We have a saying in the sock world, Izzy. ‘Go knock his socks off!’ IZZY Everyone says that. That’s not a-- SUSAN -- It belongs to the sock world. It was appropriated our culture. IZZY Not even close to how that works. SUSAN Izzy, go for Steve. You deserve to be happy. Beat. IZZY Okay...Okay. Can’t believe I’m saying it, but... I believe you. About all of it. He is the perfect man and I’m gonna go for it. I believe in Christmas Steve! She grabs her coat from the front closet and puts it on. IZZY I’m gonna to go into town and I’m going to find my Santa. And when I do I will tell him how I feel and win him back.  SUSAN You knock his socks off! IZZY I’m gonna knock his socks off! Beat. SUSAN I can say that. Another sock person could say that to me. But you can’t say it. You don’t even know what you sound like right now.  IZZY Bye! Izzy exits. SFX: door open and close. SUSAN (resumes knitting) Hope she doesn’t use that in public. MUSIC TRANSITION EXT. SANTA’S VILLAGE - DAY NARRATOR IZZY (V.O.) I arrived at Santa’s Village, right in the center of town square, just as the clock struck noon. SFX: church bell Noon ring NARRATOR IZZY (V.O.) It was Christmas Eve, so the line stretched all the way past the gazebo, past the wrapping tent, all the way to the hot cider stand. And I couldn’t afford to stand. So I made my way to see Santa. I marched right up to him. IZZY Sorry. Coming through! Here to see Santa. SFX: various bumps and ‘heys!’ ELF LADY You can’t skip the line! IZZY Sorry, Elf Person. She plops down on Santa’s lap. SFX: fabric’d whump NARRATOR IZZY (V.O.) And I sat down on the Jolly Old Elf’s lap. SANTA Oof. NARRATOR IZZY And put it all on the line. IZZY Santa there’s something I want for Christmas. SANTA Oh? (Alt: interrogative sound) IZZY ... And it’s you. It’s always been you. I’m sorry I thought you were still involved with Nikki and I didn’t mean to freak out, the same way I didn’t mean to spill hot coffee on your crotch or get hoisted by my underwear in front of the town tree. But that dorky girl who did all those things is me and that’s real. So this is me, being real with you now. Steve I really like you. And I hope you’ll give me another chance. She KISSES Santa PASSIONATELY. Gasps. Ohs.  KID That lady’s kissing Santa Clause! IZZY So. What do you say? WRONG SANTA (thick Wisconsin accent) You moved way up da Nice List, I can tell ya dat! IZZY (realizing) Oh no. You’re not him. You’re a different Santa. Oh no oh no.  ELF LADY That is my husband, ya hussy! Izzy’s jaw drops. Mortified. IZZY I...so sorry. Happy Holidays! Good-bye! SFX: steps of her fleeing. ELF LADY (from a distance) Come back here! SFX: reindeer bells jangle as Elf Lady chases her. Bells stop as she stops running. ELF LADY Where’d she go? Beat. ELF LADY (muttering) I might’ve been into it if she’d asked. IZZY (to herself) Shake it off, Elizabeth. He’s probably just working at his store. It is Christmas Eve, after all. I’ll just pop in there and this will be another funny story we’ll tell our grandkids. No big-- BEN ... Liz? Izzy turns around and sees Ben with large bandage covering his swollen head. IZZY ... Ben, hi. How’s your head? BEN (confused) Better. I mean, I thought it was fine, but... Were you just making out with Santa? IZZY No! What? BEN Yeah. IZZY Yeah... I was, but it was a mistake. I don’t know who that guy was I just kissed. BEN Doesn’t make it any better. ELF LADY (O.S.) (calling after) I know your family, lady! IZZY EVERYONE DOES! BEN New friend? IZZY Let’s keep walking. Sfx: sidewalk walking. Two people.  BEN So what’s going on, Izzy? IZZY Ben... I thought that Santa was someone else. BEN Who? Because the only other Santa we have is Steve Anderson. Sfx: walking stops. BEN (then realizing) Oh. That’s who you thought you were kissing. Right. That makes a lot of sense. He’s a... heckuva guy. The whole town loves him. Oh, and here we are, outside his shop. Which you were probably walking to, to see Steve. IZZY I can explain. BEN Why should you? We’ve only gone out on one date, during which I managed to knock myself in the head and... out of consideration. Again. Um, I wish you the best. You’re two of the most attractive people I know. It makes a lot of sense you’d want to be together.  IZZY I didn’t mean to... listen, you’re also a catch, Ben. BEN ... Sure. Ben looks at Steve, who’s about to head into the back. BEN You should go. I can see Steve through the window in his shop. So go get him. These chances don’t come back around. And don’t worry,  I won’t either. Bye, Liz.  Ben turns and walks away. IZZY ... Bye. She realizes Ben always yells to her when she leaves. IZZY (yelling to Ben) Happy Holidays! Ben?! No answer.  Izzy looks back at Ben, torn, and then enters Provisions. IZZY (V.O.) I didn’t want to hurt Ben. I really liked him. But my sister was right - Steve was the most perfect guy I had ever met and I had to go for it. I opened the charming door to his charming shop and saw him, my Prince Charming-- INT. PROVISIONS MARKET - CONTINUOUS Izzy walks in. SFX: doorchime Steve looks up from bussing a front table. STEVE Izzy. Hi. IZZY Hi. Before you say anything. I want to explain. Oh wait - first. You are you, right? STEVE Yeah. I’m me. IZZY It’s just - nevermind. Weird morning. But about the other day - I thought you and Nikki were together.  STEVE Ahhh.    IZZY And then I found out you weren’t.  STEVE Yeah, I could’ve told you that, Izzy, but you started putting the whole room on blast. IZZY Yes. I... do that occasionally. I apologize. But that’s not why I’m here. I have to tell you something. So just - just let me say it before I chicken out --  NARRATOR IZZY (V.O.) I had to tell him what was in my heart. I had to tell my truth. I had to go for it. Music Cue: heartstrings, building emotion Christmas music. IZZY I love--I love... STEVE Izzy? IZZY ... The breadsticks at Olive Garden. I know. It surprised me, too. And people who jump in frozen lakes. And I love people who can talk to dogs. I’m-I’m not the person you think I am. STEVE What does that mean? IZZY It means I’m not cool. I’m not even coordinated. I love the Holidays, but not because you get to hang out, but because I love making lists and checking things twice. I have no chill, yet I’m constantly freezing. I obsess. I dork out. And as much as I might pretend I can change those things about myself, I can’t. STEVE So... IZZY So, I...don’t think we can be together. I don’t think we should be together. STEVE Do I get a say in any of this? IZZY Of course. STEVE (agreeing) ... I think you’re right. We shouldn’t be together.  IZZY Am I on your Naughty list now? STEVE Nice list. Forever. Beat. IZZY I’m sorry I tried to be someone I’m not. STEVE No, that’s okay. I haven’t been totally honest with you, Izzy. (deep breath and then) I have feelings for someone else.    IZZY Nikki - I knew it! STEVE Ew. No, she’s like my sister. But speaking of sisters... IZZY I don’t follow.  STEVE I...I’m in love with your sister. IZZY ... Susan? STEVE Wow, it feels great to say that out loud. IZZY (real reaction) You want to be...with Susan? STEVE Yeah, ever since High School. She’s always been so... cool. Just so her own person. Remember her goth phase? I wish that had lasted. Unh, what a smokeshow.  IZZY I...one sec. Processing. STEVE I’m sorry, and I know that this is totally inappropriate. And I didn’t intend to lead you on. I didn’t totally realize it myself until you started telling me your truth. And you’re both so similar. Practically the same person. IZZY ... Huh. Don’t see it. STEVE Is it too much to ask. Could you, maybe, put in a good word? IZZY Let me think on that. STEVE Okay, but don’t wait too long because it’s almost Christmas and-- IZZY There’s no time. There’s no time! I have to hurry! SFX: She runs off. door chime. STEVE Thanks. (calling after) And thanks for understanding! Steve whistles while sweeping up. STEVE (sigh. To self.) Susan... EXT. WHITEFISH BAY TOWN SQUARE - CONTINUOUS NARRATOR IZZY (V.O.) I hurried outside and ran down the block, looking for him. Not the ‘perfect guy,’ the guy who was perfect for me. IZZY Ben! Ben! NARRATOR IZZY (V.O.) But was I too late? It was Christmas Eve and, all around, the stores were closing up. The lights were turning on, reds and greens and golds lighting up the streets as shopkeepers pulled in their signs and locked up to go home and spend Christmas with their loving families. If I didn’t catch Ben now, there was no way I’d find him in time. I hurried to his clinic, running faster and faster across slippery sidewalks and slushy streets. I was too far away. I saw Ben, outside his office, locking up. I had to stop him! EXT. WHITEFISH BAY TOWN SQUARE - SAME TIME Izzy continues to slip and slide on the icy sidewalk. IZZY Ben! Dr. Ben Douglass! NARRATOR IZZY (V.O.) I wasn’t going to get there in time! And then it happened. An icy patch of sidewalk. IZZY (slipping) WhraAAA! SFX: Slip. CRACK. IZZY Unh... A small crowd gathers around her. NARRATOR IZZY (V.O.) I knew this weather would kill me one day. VOICES She fell / Are you okay? ELF LADY That’s the lady who kissed my husband! IZZY (V.O.) I looked up at the crowd, all of their faces blurry, except one-- IZZY Ben? I’ve fallen... Izzy’s POV. Ben’s face appears, leaning over her. The crowd is buzzing, trying to get Izzy help.  IZZY ... for you... Ben can’t hear over the crowd. BEN I’m right here, Izzy. Don’t worry. (then to crowd) Everyone, I am a doctor! A Vet. GUY I’m a Vet, too. Where’d you serve? BEN - erinarian. And thank you for your service, sir. To our country. (then) Izzy, are you alright?  IZZY Can’t feel anything. Pretty sure that’s the cold. Just got the wind knocked out of me. Ben, I made a mistake. BEN Don’t try to talk. IZZY It was you all along. You are the one for me. My Yan. BEN I need everyone to back up. We’ve got a head injury, people! IZZY No, I-- Yan is-- I can explain. Ben, I really, really like you. BEN ... She’s starting to make more sense. IZZY I don’t have to pretend to be someone I’m not around you. I can be Type-A and klutzy and emotional  and all the breadsticks. And you accept me. I really like you, Ben. Because you’re also such a weirdo. BEN (to crowd) -- It’s mixed messages, people. Could go either way-- SFX: confused murmurs. IZZY -- You don’t care what anybody thinks about you. You give speeches about castrating dogs. You wear shorts when everyone else is in long underwear. You drank out of a vase at Olive Garden. BEN For the record it was a carafe and it contained red wine. IZZY Ben - you are my Yan. I didn’t see it before, but now it’s all I see. Did I totally mess things up between us? BEN ... Yeah, you did. Izzy is crestfallen. IZZY Okay, I’ll go... when I regain feeling in my torso and can move again. BEN Ya dum-dum, you did mess things up-- IZZY -- I know-- BEN -- because you made that choice before we could do this-- Ben gently leans in and KISSES Izzy. It’s passionate and surprises Izzy. The crowd cheers as Izzy kisses Ben back. IZZY ... Huh. Shorts-All-Year Ben is a good kisser. BEN No, shorts-all-year Ben is a totally dope kisser. They kiss again. Izzy is AMAZED. IZZY Whoa. BEN She’s gonna be okay! And I’m gonna be ever better!  The crowd cheers. ELF LADY That lady just keeps kissing people! IZZY What can I say? You knock my socks off. BEN Oh you can’t say that. NARRATOR IZZY (V.O.) So it all worked out. Except, wait. What’s a Christmas Story without Christmas Day??? MUSIC TRANSITION: Cheery Xmas Music INT. CASEY HOME - LIVING ROOM - CHRISTMAS DAY Izzy, Susan, Margaret, Brendan and BEN each stand near tiny Dickens homes throughout the room, playing “What the Dickens.” They are all wearing DOILIES on their heads. BRENDAN Merry Christmas, Casey family! (calling) Izzy, are you playing this round? NARRATOR IZZY (V.O.) We sat around the table, playing our favorite role-playing murder-mystery game, ‘What the Dickens?’ And once you get into it, it’s honestly a LOT of fun. IZZY (hopping onto couch) Wouldn’t miss it, Dad. Merry Christmas. MARGARET Shhh you two. We’re about to announce. (British accent) Who hath committed this murder most foul? Beat for reveal. BEN (bad British accent) ‘Twas I, Miss Havisham, who murdered Penny Pickwick with me old wedding cake! AHAHAHAH. EVERYONE WHAT THE DICKENS?! BRENDAN Ooh! You are good, Benjamin. I could have sworn it was the Artful Dodger. SUSAN Me too! And I was playing him. Really good spinster character work there, dude. MARGARET Present time! The family gathers around the tree to open presents. MARGARET Ben, more non-alcoholic eggnog? BEN A high calorie holiday themed drink? Count me in. THE DOORBELL RINGS. IZZY I’ll get it. Izzy gets up and walks toward the door. BRENDAN Might be Mrs. LeClaire from next door. Do you know her, Ben? BEN Of course. Jan LeClaire. With the corgis. Just had shingles. BRENDAN (delighted) Yes! INT. CASEY HOME - ENTRYWAY - CONTINUOUS Izzy opens the door. IZZY Happy Holidays. SFX: metal guitar riff. This is YAN (30’s). IZZY (confused) Can I help you? YAN (Danish accent) No. You cannot helps. I am here for the Susan. SUSAN (O.S.) YAN! Susan runs toward the door. IZZY Is this a joke? YAN No. This is a love. SFX: heeled boots walking on floor. Susan sees Yan and freezes. YAN Susans. SUSAN Yan!!!! She runs to him and they kiss. And start making out.  YAN/SUSAN (loud kissing sounds) IZZY Hi, Yan. So happy you could be real... really into my sister’s tongue. Yuck. Izzy awkwardly pats Yan hello as he and Susan keep kissing. Izzy turns to her parents. IZZY Speaking of surprises... Family, Ben... I have an announcement. SUSAN She’s pregnant! IZZY NO! As you all know, I’ve finished my residency and I received a couple of job offers. One in L.A... and one here in Milwaukee. MARGARET You picked L.A. and we know that and we are fine with it. (laying the guilt on thick) Our daughter just won’t ever live close to us ever again. And if you ever give me grandchildren, I’ll shlep on long, expensive flights so they don’t forget who Grandma is. IZZY And I am CONSIDERING, eventually, taking a position...in Milwaukee. The weather’s rough sometimes, but I love the people here... and I love my family-- SUSAN -- Just say it! Ya got the hots for Ben! IZZY I mean... yeah. They kiss. BRENDAN (tearing up) Well, this is just about the best Christmas present a dad could ask for. Come here! Brendan hugs Izzy and Ben at the same time. MARGARET AHHHHH! Our Izzy is coming home! IZZY POSSIBLY! Eventually! Margaret joins in on the hug. MARGARET Family hug! BRENDAN/MARGARET Awww. YAN And I, Yan, am also heres! Yan and Susan join in the hug. BRENDAN Give it a beat, Yan. One moment at a time. INT. CASEY HOME - LIVING ROOM - LATER NARRATOR IZZY (V.O.) There is no perfect Christmas, just like there’s no perfect person and no perfect version of yourself. But if you can accept that and love both yourself and others for their flaws instead of despite them, then you might find the same gift I did under the tree this year - a Christmas that is perfect...for you. SFX: Doorbell. IZZY The doorbell again? Who could that be? Izzy opens the door and sees... CHRISTMAS STEVE. IZZY Steve? STEVE Hi Izzy. Merry Christmas. I’m here...for Susan! IZZY Two guys...for Susan??? Sfx: heavy metal guitar sting. Outside it’s snowing. Inside, Margaret sits at the piano, playing “White Christmas” on the piano as Yan, Susan, Izzy, Ben and Brendan sing. EVERYONE (singing) May your days be merry and bright BRENDAN (singing with a lot of vibrato) And may all your Christmases be white! Yan plugs an electric guitar into an amp and starts shredding. YAN (metal singing) Whiiiiite! The white of bonesss! He starts playing a death metal version of “White Christmas.” Susan gets up and head bangs in her jammies. Brendan and Margaret giggle and chase each other upstairs. Izzy and Ben look at each other and shrug. Families, right? Izzy and Ben snuggle deeper under their blanket. It’s big enough to snuggle up in, doesn’t cover Ben’s shorts-clad legs.    They laugh and put doilies on each other’s heads. Total dorks. YAN (metal singing) Oh, the weather outside is frightful, but the fire is so delightful! Love on Earth! Peace and Goodwill to all!!!    FADE OUT. END OF EPISODE 5 END OF SERIES